Post by Lucky on Feb 22, 2004 15:15:37 GMT -5
Grade
Storyline: 3/10
Its simple without any plot. Simply walking through a forest, and looking for a Pokemon to capture. Add a plot and more excitment.
Grammar/Spelling: 3/10
There were many errors. Take for example, this sentence...
'Coming down to the Forest was a Trainer which wearied a Green and Red Shirt and Baggy Jeans.'
Some errors were...
'Wearied' isn't even a word. It should have been 'wore'.
'Which' should have been 'who'.
After 'trainer', there should have been a comma.
Another problem that I found a lot of was the fact that you captilaze words that shouldn't be. Only proper nouns and such should be capitalized.
Detail: 4/10
You have more then with your previous story, but still not nearly enough. Basically, same as my grade for your other story. Add detail in the battle to make it come to life, and in the more boring areas of your story to make it more exciting.
Reality: 4/10
The main thing here was that Trapninch defeated all of the poliwags, even though he was at a type disadvantage. Another thing, your just walking along, and you see a bunch of Pokemon. Meh, not likely, espically finding two types that you would like to capture. Also, if the third one was the strongest, how come the first battle was the longest?
Battle: 3.5/10
All three were short. Even if you put all three battles together, it would be about 1/3-1/2 of the length that a battle should be. It was also lacking detail, espically the second battle.
Total: 17.5/50
Outcome: Poliwag not captured.
Storyline: 3/10
Its simple without any plot. Simply walking through a forest, and looking for a Pokemon to capture. Add a plot and more excitment.
Grammar/Spelling: 3/10
There were many errors. Take for example, this sentence...
'Coming down to the Forest was a Trainer which wearied a Green and Red Shirt and Baggy Jeans.'
Some errors were...
'Wearied' isn't even a word. It should have been 'wore'.
'Which' should have been 'who'.
After 'trainer', there should have been a comma.
Another problem that I found a lot of was the fact that you captilaze words that shouldn't be. Only proper nouns and such should be capitalized.
Detail: 4/10
You have more then with your previous story, but still not nearly enough. Basically, same as my grade for your other story. Add detail in the battle to make it come to life, and in the more boring areas of your story to make it more exciting.
Reality: 4/10
The main thing here was that Trapninch defeated all of the poliwags, even though he was at a type disadvantage. Another thing, your just walking along, and you see a bunch of Pokemon. Meh, not likely, espically finding two types that you would like to capture. Also, if the third one was the strongest, how come the first battle was the longest?
Battle: 3.5/10
All three were short. Even if you put all three battles together, it would be about 1/3-1/2 of the length that a battle should be. It was also lacking detail, espically the second battle.
Total: 17.5/50
Outcome: Poliwag not captured.
